Can We Afford to Live Differently?

A Reflection on Gospel Poverty, Sacrifice, and Trust Inspired by Thomas Dubay’s Happy Are You Poor

There’s a moment in Happy Are You Poor where Fr. Thomas Dubay doesn’t just challenge our behavior — he questions our entire framework for decision-making.

He writes that the single dominating value in American culture is economic — the pursuit of “the good life.” Everything else is subordinate to that goal: family life, religious life, and even education. Most universities, he says, don’t educate for truth or wisdom anymore — they “train for the job market.”

And when we make the economy our master value, we tend to evaluate everything — even generosity — through that lens.

“Can we afford it?” becomes not just a financial question, but a moral and spiritual one.

Fr. Dubay gives the example of a couple deciding whether they can afford to give $20 or $30 to a charitable collection at Mass. They conclude they can — but only because it won’t cost them anything: not their cigarettes, fine dining, sports car, or vacation.

Their giving is from their surplus, not their need.

That example stuck with me — because I’ve lived it.

The Crossroads of Values

A while back, my wife and I found ourselves at a crossroads. She had a great job, and financially, things were going well. We were able to save, invest for retirement, pay off debt, and even enjoy some small luxuries without much worry.

But then came the discernment: she felt called to stay home with our children.

And suddenly, we were faced with our own version of the question:

Can we afford this?
Can we still pay off student loans?
Can we still buy groceries, pay the mortgage, and save?
Can we do that without giving up restaurants, small comforts, or the occasional trip?

At first, the answer we gave ourselves was: “Not yet.”

Let’s wait until after we save more for a down payment. After we pay off the student loans. After we’re further along in retirement savings. After we build an emergency fund big enough to replace a car or cover a health crisis.

In other words: Let’s handle everything first. Then we’ll obey.

Are We Willing to Trust God With Our Finances?

In theory, we believed God could provide. But in practice? We wanted to provide for ourselves — and then work God in around that.

It’s not that prudence is wrong. Planning isn’t bad. But we were unintentionally telling God:

“We’ll step into this calling… once we know it won’t hurt.”

That’s not Gospel poverty. That’s financial self-preservation disguised as discernment.

We weren’t the rich young man walking away from Jesus — but we were definitely hesitating. We were trying to serve two masters: the values of comfort and consumption and the values of the Kingdom.

The Widow’s Mite and the God Who Keeps His Promises

Jesus once sat across from the treasury and watched the wealthy give large sums. But it was the poor widow, offering two small coins, who caught His attention:

“For they have all contributed from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has contributed all she had, her whole livelihood.”
— Mark 12:44 (NABRE)

The Gospel is clear: God does not count your gift by its dollar amount — but by its cost.

When we only give what doesn’t affect our lifestyle, we’re not practicing detachment — we’re budgeting.

And yet, Scripture also tells us this:

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, and see if I do not open the floodgates of heaven for you, and pour down upon you blessing without measure!”
— Malachi 3:10 (NABRE)

God rarely says, “Test me.” But when He does, He means it — and He makes good on His promises.

The Good Life, Reimagined

The dominant cultural message says the “good life” means security, control, options, upgrades. A nice home, a strong portfolio, early retirement. These things aren’t inherently bad — but they can slowly displace the radical call of the Gospel if we’re not careful.

Gospel poverty isn’t about rejecting money or being irresponsible.

It’s about living with open hands — willing to release anything if God asks, and willing to embrace anything if it serves His Kingdom.

So if you’re:

Being called to stay home with your children, even though it doesn’t make financial sense…
Giving to the Church or a cause even when the numbers feel tight…
Saying no to a promotion that would strain your soul or your family…
Choosing simplicity over accumulation…

Know this:

You’re not behind. You’re not foolish. You’re not crazy. You’re learning how to live differently — and faithfully.